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The Pyro Report/Episode 1

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http://www.marioboards.com/index.php?topic=20238.0

Pyro: Heeeeeeello, ladies and gents, and welcome to the Pyro Report! It's the pilot episode!

  • plane sounds*

Hey, not that way.

Well, I'll start off by introducing our cast.

Lololo: Hi, suckers! I got on this show because I float in the air!

Lalala: And I got on because I was related to Lololo!

Pyro: Well, these guys are Lololo & Lalala, two cool Kirby bosses.

Lololo: Kirby bosses? We have no authority over the lump!

Lalala: It's a marshmallow.

Pyro: Kirby is a Star Warrior and he is a boy.

Lololo: Anime canon alert!

Lalala: RAISE THE SECTION.

Pyro: Wait, wha-*smashed by logo*

Prep1p1.png

Lololo: So, this is the section where we talk about the Kirby anime and rant about how the American dub put F's in our names!

Lalala: Today's episode will be Waddle While You Work. In this episode, King Dedede gets a robot and fires all the Waddle Dees. The robot can make tea inside of it.

Lololo: I can't see why Dedede even thought of drinking the robot's tea, because who knows where the hell the tea came from.

Lalala: Whoa.

Lololo: This episode is full of cute and cuddly Waddle Dee action, and, as Blade Knight put it "dere's thousands of 'em!"

Waddle.png

The robot kicks them all out :(

Lalala: The Waddle Dees go to a nearby cave, and Kirby and Tiff and Tuff-

Lololo: AND AND AND AND AND AND

Lalala: Oh, shut up.

Lololo: Well, they all sleep in a cave, which Kirby witnesses, and it's so damn cute!

Lalala: Stop stealing-

Lololo: -my sentances.

Lalala: Dam-

Lololo: -mit.

Lalala: So, Kirby forgets to turn the flash off on the camera, and all the Waddle Dees go apeshit over the flash.

Lololo: Kirby escapes, and he shows his blurry pictures to the others. Only one picture gave them vital information, but if Tiff deleted the images of cute Waddle Dees going apeshit, I will kill the bastard.

Lalala: We really need to watch our language.

Lololo: Eventually, the robot robs D3 and Escargoon of their money and sends it to Customer Service to forcefully pay of their debts.

Lalala: Then the robot wants to kill them.

Lololo: And the Waddle Dees save them and get hired again.

Lalala: Hooray...?

Lololo: This episode gets a 10/10 because the Waddle Dees are so damn cute and only the robot hates them throughout the episode.

Waddle2.png

Lalala: This has been Kirby Anime Reviews, and fuck Pyro!

Lololo: Make sure he didn't hear us.


Pyro: Alright, after that, I'll intorduce you to NSM.

NSM: Sup.

Pyro: And Lakituthequick.

LTQ: Hey.

Pyro: And our other two employees-

CRASH

Prep1p3.png

GP: GODZILLAS AWESOME GODZILLAS AWESOME

Waddle Dee: SHUT UPPPPP

Pyro: -GalacticPetey and Waddle Dee.

GP: Hey everybody how's it going.

Waddle Dee: If I had a dime for every time GP said that Godzilla's awesome...I'd have 4 dimes.

LTQ: Yeah, so much money.

Waddle Dee: I know right?

GP: MY SPRITES ARE HUGE

Lololo: ...you don't say?

NSM: Wait, where did the blue and pink things come from?

Lalala: A cabbage patch.

Lololo: CABBAGE PATCH DOLLS

Pyro: They're not things. They're whatchamacallits!

Lalala: ...I thought we were boozledangers.

NSM: I thought you were retards!

Pyro: ...Alright, let's get this over with and bring in our first special guest...

NSM: ...GutsehMan?

Pyro: No, I didn't feel like bringing him in first.

GutsehMan: AW SHIT.

Pyro: Today's special guest is Nabber!

Nabber: Hey guys.

Pyro: Alright, let's sit in the chairs- wait what?

Prep1p2.png

Pyro:...get out of the damn chairs you two.

Lololo: But we spent ours spriting ourselves onto these chairs!

GP: Hey, Firefox's spellcheck made "spriting" into "stripping"! Woah!

Lalala: Sorry, we don't have clothes.

Nabber: Oh shit my purity has been ruined.

GP: Woah.

Pyro: So, Nabber, I have a question for you...WHY DO YOU LIKE THE CRAP THAT IS CORALINE

Nabber: HEY SHUT UP CORALINE IS A AWESOME MOVIE I STILL WANT THE BUTTON FAD

Pyro: CORALINE SUCKS

Nabber: NO IT DOESNT

Pyro: GO FUCK YOURSELF

Nabber: WHAT THE HELL I'M LEAVING


NSM: Oh, way to go, Pyro.

Pyro: Oh, shut up.

GP: You better not tell Smasher to fuck himself in the next episode.

Lololo: Isn't the special guest supposed to be a secret.

Lalala: Well, Google said it.

Pyro: Wait a second, Lalala. That's not Google.

LTQ: Oh no.

GP: SHUT OFF THE CAMERAS SHUT OFF THE CAMERAS

Pyro: LALALA I ORDER YOU TO STOP LOOKING AT POR-


Later, backstage...

LTQ: So, Pyro, how much are we getting paid for this?

Pyro: I haven't really thought about this. Eh, maybe a candy bar for everyone?

LTQ: ...What did you say?

Pyro: Oh shit.

Prep1bp1.png